Every story has a "Where."

When at work, I try to use the restroom as little as I have to. It's like an away game in sports, I'm just not as comfy without my home field advantage. We will be visiting this theme quite often, but today I want to focus on my Cribs-esque workplace "walk-in" water closets...where the magic happens.
I work in an old mall that is mainly empty save for a few businesses and offices. For the most part, it is about as lively as the mall in Dawn of The Dead before the zombies got past the locked doors. The company I work for takes up an entire old JC Pennys store on one of the ends of the mall. My 2 main rest rooms of choice are located inside the walls of my employer and the other is a mall rest room that is very close to our mall entrance door. Both are about the same distance from my desk. Depending on what level nature's call is, I motivate to the appropriate location to handle my bidness. My work rest room for the quick stop liquid rental return and the mall rest room for droppin a deuce on the down low.
Now if I find myself in a time crunch or in the wrong place at the right time, all bets are off and I do what I gotta do.
Pros and Cons
Work Rest Room Pros- Quick, Clean, Well maintained, Full Length Mirror, 3 urinals/4 stalls/4 sinks. Plenty of room
Work Rest Room Cons-Too many peeps, counters are always wet, janitors clean it around Mid Day.
Mall Rest Room Pros- Privacy, Out of the way, Occasional Christian Chick Tracks make for awesome reading material, Great reverberation for singing, and no wait seating. 2stalls/2 urinals/2 sinks.
Mall Rest Room Cons- Not well maintained, has the humid musty smell, Weird mall walker people. Petty much a 1970s bathroom still struggling to make it in the year 2006.

So that's the set up for the work shituation and where most of these stories will take part later down the line.